You've heard it. You know it. And it's time you start believing it: He's. Not. Worth. It.
BUT if you're looking for a guy-bashing post, I'll have to disappoint (sorry, not sorry!). Because, let's face it, guys are cool. And even if they don't share your feelings and crazy emotions, good guys are still, well, good.
Yet, I'm here to still tell you that HE IS SO NOT WORTH IT!
Whether "he" is the guy who hardly notices you and never remembers your name, or he's that friend who's got you friend-zoned for years, or even the guy you dated but somewhere down the line surprised you with the famous and crazily banal "it's not you, it's me" (I mean, really, what does that even mean??? Somebody!). He's not worth it.
He's not worth you shedding tears over him. He's not worth you going out of your way to be something you're not. He's not worth you checking your phone every 5 minutes. He's not worth all the self-doubt that's clogged up your mind. Or even the "what ifs" you keep torturing yourself with. Stop with the "maybe if I wasn't so________ (fill in the blank with current insecurity) he would like me" and the "maybe if I was more _______ he'll finally notice me." Or even "I know he hasn't called or replied my text but maybe if I call him again he'll pick up this time." Just stop, take a moment and listen, OK?
See, I know he's great and all but, sister to sister, here are a few truths you need to know. And yes, I'm speaking to myself too. A little reminder about the current crush or the ones to come. Because, ladies, let's face it, we definitely need the reminding.
1) If he can't like you now - as you - nothing you do will change that.
Ever tried to impress a guy? It might work for a little while then you'll probably find yourself back at square one before long. And nothing is more frustrating! But I'll touch on the frustration later.
Sister, wouldn't you rather he liked you for you? If you have to work hard to be liked by anyone (really, anyone!!!), you'll wear yourself out. It's exhausting, but mostly, it's useless. Ok, so let's say it actually works. He finally sees you! He finally cares and wants to be with you!...Or does he? Because in reality, he wants to be with the 'you' that you're actually not. And while all might be good and dandy for a little bit, the pretense will make you miserable. He'll realize it too. And you'll be back at square one faster than anyone can say 'heartbreak'.
2) You're missing out on life - YOUR LIFE!!!!
Ok, really. I can't even stress this enough. The dude is living his life. He's just fine. He's eating. Sleeping well. Chilling with friends. Maybe even traveling. And you're...what? Sitting around moping??? You're at an event and instead of having fun, you're preoccupied with whether he'll show up or not, talk to you or not. Or instead of having a good time at a family gathering/ friends hangout, you're sulking, thinking about him.
I get it. It hurts. The kind of hurt that's hard to explain. The kind you beg God to take away. I won't deny it. But this is YOUR LIFE we're talking about. Where every moment, every second is precious. You can't get a single one back. When you look back, you'll - wait, scratch that, because you'll have nothing to actually look back on except memories of how you didn't live your life because of some guy you probably don't even like anymore. No one is worth putting your life on hold for. Not even him!
So, get out there and do stuff. Make a list of things you'd like to do and actually do them! Go live!
3) He's not the one
If the dude doesn't share your feelings, chances are, he's not the one. It doesn't mean you're not good enough. It doesn't mean you're a failure. It just simply means he's not the one. I believe God has a plan for each of us. Good plans at that (Jeremiah 29:11). And that super handsome guy might not be part of God's plans for you (no matter how right it seems). Some people look back and think, 'thank God that relationship never actually worked out'. You might not see it now, but with a little hindsight you will in the future. Things with this guy might not be working out right now the way you want it, but dare to believe God knows best and He knows what He's doing. And even if what's-his-face is actually the one, have you considered that maybe the time just isn't right at the moment?
If he's not the one and you've completely set your mind on him, moping about because of him, chances are, you'll miss out on that other great guy who actually only has eyes for you. If what's-his-face isn't the one, then he certainly isn't worth that.
4) Oh, the frustration!!!
Caring about someone who doesn't feel the same way hurts! And it hurts bad! It hurts when you're not with them and it hurts worse when you find yourself hanging out with him. You're never happy. Even when you've just spent an awesome time together, you're still left feeling miserable. You find yourself in a state of constant frustration. And with that comes mood swings. There is no wins in this. Seriously. It's an endless cycle of misery. And I wish I was exaggerating. Girl, no one should have that much of an impact on your state of mind or happiness. If he doesn't feel the same way, make an effort not to dwell on it and keep things moving! Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a whole lot of misery. Really. And being constantly miserable because of another human being's lack of affection? No way José! No one is that awesome. Not even batman. Girl, he's not worth it.
5) You are royalty
Absolutely! Royalty in its finest form. You are beautiful the way you are. And you are already loved. You are the daughter of the King. And He loves you so much He gave his life for you. Now tell me, with that in mind, why should you torment yourself because of what's-his-name? Baby girl, you are special and just because he can't see it or appreciate it doesn't make that fact any less true. Someone will surely come along who will see you for the queen you are and treat you that way. Anyone who treats you any less than the queen you are is NOT WORTH IT. And baby girl, I'm not afraid to keep typing that in big caps if it means it'll help it sink in. You deserve the very best. You deserve to be appreciated and loved. You deserve to have his attention and affection. You deserve to mean the world to someone. And if this dude doesn't see you that way, that's fine. Don't dwell on it. Keep it moving. You don't deserve to be treated less than the queen you are anyway. He's just leaving room for the man who can fill those shoes.
That's it! 5 reasons he's not worth it. Birth out of years of listening to and watching different ladies around me. And even out of experience.
And if you're a guy and you've made it through this list, chances are, she's not worth it ;)
Additions? Thoughts? Let me know in the comments! Have a friend who needs to read this? Don't hesitate to share!