Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I want to be "Souled Out" - A peek into my journal

Hey friends!

I was going through some of my 2012 journal entries when I came across this portion. The highlighted elements were really highlighted.
"Lord, I'm also grateful for salvation. Who can repay? I'm grateful that you have called me and that you would be willing to use me. Let me not be idle. Help me do something with your calling and the talents you've put in me. Daddy, let me boldly be your hands and feet on this earth. Use me in my daily activities. Bring my focus back to you anytime it sways. I want to be focused on you! I want Matthew 6:33 to be my reality. This isn't child's play. I know that and I want to take it seriously. I'm tired. Tired of being up one day and down the next. I want to be "souled" out (lol, instead of sold out) for you. I feel like my efforts aren't enough. Take my conversation with [...] about an hour ago. We spoke about silly things [...] But when did your name come up? Never. Paul talks about redeeming the times. I want to know that's what I'm doing. That's what matters to me. I want living the greater purpose - your calling - to be first and foremost and not just doing it on blogger. I refuse to be discouraged. People's attitudes and responses have discouraged me in the past (and by people I mean fellow believers), BUT NO MORE. Daddy, it's all about you. Remind me of that at all times"
It's funny that I should come across this in the first month of this year. Well, I guess it's not "funny" but more, a God-thing. You see, I determined in my heart - after I couldn't ignore what God had been telling me for a while - that 2013 would be a year where I would serve the Lord with my ALL without holding back. In my community, in school, in everything I do. I even decided to go out evangelizing and that, my friends, is something I didn't think I would be doing any time soon. It's been YEARS (and I mean, years) since the last time I went out evangelizing and I remembered the experience as being a bit awkward. I remembered people being just plain RUDE. But this year, a little thing like people's response won't stop me. You see, the one thing we will be able to leave behind on this earth is the lives of those we impact. And for a long time I've been working on impacting people through my lifestyle, the things I say, praying for them...just plain being a godly example. Which is good. But I believe now God wants MORE from me. To actually STEP OUT. To get involved not only within the four walls of my church but in my community. Bring up initiatives with other Christians around me so that we can shake my city. Yes, I believe that can and will happen. God just needs people who are ready He can use.

You see, for a long time I've complained about my environment. Wished there were more Christians. Wished people were more receptive to the message of Christ.Wished this and that. But that should NOT be a hindrance. In the end, Jesus won't say "oh don't worry, I understand that you lived in so and so country/city and going out on the streets was hard there. Don't worry about it. At least you sat home and prayed". Get what I'm saying? So, this year, I am souled out for Christ. I just want to get the message of Christ and His love OUT THERE. BY ALL MEANS. And I am soooo excited!
Again, it is definitely a God-thing that I came across this 2012 entry. It is proof that God answers prayers and fulfils our godly desires. I had prayed that He should remind me that it's all about Him (last phrase of the entry). And that is exactly what He has been doing this year. I wrote in my new 2013 journal (Christmas present, I love it!) that the first lesson He is teaching me this year is that "it's not about me". See how amazing God is?
When we are willing to serve Him, He will make it possible. My pastor said while preaching one day "Christ has done so much for you. What are you doing for Him?". That phrase hit me hard. I love hearing about Christians who made a difference. Christians who against all odds share the Word. But sometimes it's easy to let excuses get in the way. Maybe you want to serve in a certain way but you believe you don't have the finances, the time...etc. Stop. Stop. Stop and realize those are excuses from the enemy. When you are ready, God will make provision.
Remember, the harvest is plenty but the labourers few (Matt. 9:37). The hungry need feeding. The sick need healing and the weak, encouragement. You can be the answer. You don't have to wait to go on an outreach mission in Africa. You can GET UP AND GO NOW, right in your community.
This year and the many years to come, I choose to be a labourer and not just a Christian standing in the sidelines. Will you join me? Will you join me on this "Souled Out Urban Experience"? Who knows, that might be a new series as I document what God is doing.
I am so excited to see Him work. And I am honoured that He has opened my eyes to this ardent desire to serve Him. I am amazed, astounded and grateful. And I am expectant!
(The name "Souled Out Urban Experience" was inspired by Neta Jackson's SouledOut Sisters series).


  1. Amen and amen.
    At the end of almost every book of Psalms, the author closed it with a double amen. That must make it really special. In any event, go sister Funto, go! I'm with you. As much as I'd like to stay in the bleachers, God is nudging me and all of His people in 2013 to get up off the bleachers and into the game. Players and soldiers for His glory!

    1. Thanks so much Maleeka! Your words are always so uplifting and encouraging!
      God bless you!

  2. Serious stuff...Dont wait another minute....go get them but dont forget about yourself in the process.

  3. Don't forget about yourself. Powerful words. Thanks for the reminder Sis. It is not my portion in Jesus' name!