Sunday, October 28, 2012

Relationship Post: To Date OR to Court...that is the question

Hey beauties!
You all know how I like a Relationship Post.
This particular one, I've been meaning to write for a LONG while now.
You know, for a long time, I heard the word "courting" without really knowing what it meant. I would shrug it off and assume it was a synonym for "dating". Until one day when someone asked me what I thought about courting and I wondered why in the world anyone would ask that. Then I looked it up.
The question then is, when you find your significant other, and you know in your knowing that God has a hand in it, are you to "date" that person or "court them"?
I've heard people condemn dating and I've also heard people condemn, which is it?
Quite honestly, after looking up the difference I have to say that it left me with raised eyebrows. I'll tell you why later. First of all, let me invite you to check out this short christian article I read on the matter. It's from a neutral point of view and I found it to be a big help on the topic.
It'll only take a minute. Check it out:
I truly believe this article says it all.
Personally, I have NO PREFERENCES. And quite honestly, I don't think it's necessary to label your relationship with names. The relationship is between you, your significant other AND God! At the end of the day, what matters is that IN ALL YOU DO, GOD IS GLORIFIED. If God is being glorified in your relationship and you are attentive to His Spirit and doing things the way His Spirit leads you to, who cares about "labels"?
Please, let's be careful. It is important to be SENSITIVE TO GOD'S SPIRIT. One thing I know about God and that is recurrent in Scripture is that He never asks two people to do things the same way in order to get the same result. Jesus healed so many people but He didn't always use the same method. God might be asking you and your partner to do it one way (it might be 'dating', 'courting' or it might not have a name!) and He might ask another couple to do it another way. What works for them might not work for you. Thus, the important of being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and walking in God's will for you! Again, I avoid labels. And when the time comes, I will be in God's will. And if the world wants to call it "dating" or "courting" or whatever they want, they can. I don't care what anyone will call it, AS LONG AS I AM IN GOD'S WILL (and not God's will for another couple I might admire).

I love how the article says:
"It is important to remember that neither dating nor courtship is mandated in Scripture. In the end, the Christian character and spiritual maturity of the couple is far more important than the exact nature of how and when they spend time together. Scripturally speaking, the result of the process—godly Christian men and women marrying and raising families to the glory of God—is far more important than the method they use to achieve that result. "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31, NKJV).

Finally, care must be taken to avoid the pitfall of believing one’s personal preference—dating or courting—is the “only way” and looking down upon those who make the opposite choice. As in all things, the unity of the body of Christ should be of utmost importance in our minds, regardless of personal choices others make pertaining to issues on which the Bible is silent."

Well, if like myself you had questions on the matter, I hope that helped!

Share your opinion: What do you think on the matter? What do you think about Christians "labeling" their relationship and pointing fingers at those who did things differently (yes, I was also shocked when I realized some people point fingers).


  1. I love that article, I beleive before we as Christians get into a relationship we should seek God's face concerning boundaries we should set. Some boundaries are obvious like no sex, but others like holding hands and such should be discussed by the couple. What might be a pitfall for one couple might not be a challenge to another couple. I love to talk about relationships too, thanks for sharing.

    1. I totally agree!!! I like the phrase "What might be a pitfall for one couple might not be a challenge to another couple" it really sums it all up! Thanks! You have a lovely blog by the way!!

  2. What a great perspective, Funto! :)

    I'm pretty much in the same place when it comes to relationships. It really depends on what works for each couple.

    As the editor of a Christian teen website, I do however try to be sensitive to the fact that some girls prefer courting while others prefer dating. I just try my best to support what each girl feels God has called her personally to do. :)

    1. Thanks a lot Debra! Praise God! Yes, we are to support each other's choice :)